Well hello again, why don’t we first start with an update. If you don’t care to read this I don’t blame you, but I can guarantee the paragraphs after are certainly worth your while. I promise.
Things are going pretty good, I got 4.429 GPA for the quarter. Actually that’s about all that’s gone good. And that was 100% by pure and absolute luck. Oh, and something else happened… For the first time in my life, and on one of the hardest courses we will run all year long for cross country, I got a medal. I got like 28th place, and got a medal. That is what I have been running for, for these past few years. I now feel like I have not wasted my entire winters running away. Although 28th isn’t that great, and my time wasn’t all too impressive at 20:49 (my personal record is 19:20, but then again, this course is death defy-ing), I am still very happy. This past weekend, I actually got another medal. Yay for me! The course, considering it has been raining almost non-stop for the past two weeks, was muddy as all hell. If hell was muddy, instead of fiery/inferno, that is what it would have been like. The mud actually made this course much much harder than the previous race that I got a medal in. Anyways, I got 17th in this race, with an absolutely terrible time of 21:03, or something like that. Usually, the first place guy in my JV races gets somewhere in the 17’s. The first place guy in this race got a 20:00 flat. I seemed to be the least muddy out of anybody, even though I was still covered in mud from my waist down. The reason that I did so good is because, unlike the rest of the people, I did not weigh enough to sink into the mud, therefore, I just glided along on the top of it. I feel like I have accomplished something, and done something great… for the first time, in I think, my entire life.

Now onto the problems. Don’t get me wrong. These are not just mine. These are numerous people’s, that I listen to, and talk to, and then when they ask me what is wrong, I smile, and nod, and simply say nothing… because that is the type of person I am. Sorry if that annoys you, but that is just what I have grown up with my whole life, because the second that I start complaining, I start losing people. Anyways, why don’t we list a number of other peoples’ problems first. Only one of the following people doesn’t have a dA, so if you find yourself in here, don’t be surprised. Also, at the end of your paragraph, I left a few words of advice.

I have a friend that found this girl, via the internet, and they seem to be perfect for one another. I am happy that he hasn’t jumped right into it, even though the main reason he did not is because he told this other girl, that likes him, that he is not ready for a relationship. So he had to wait. Now, he has given up on that girl because he feels like she is going to bring too many problems into his life, and he doesn’t want that right now. Plus the fact that the girl he likes is running away from home isn’t exactly what he is looking for either. Also, the girl that likes him recently got a dA, and has gone to bed crying because she is offended by what he writes. Don’t worry. I have a feeling that things will work themselves out, sooner than you think.

Another friend of mine, has a lot on his chest. He has revealed a lot of information to me, and I have a feeling I know what is wrong. Problem is, I don’t want to say it, because I don’t want to offend him by guessing wrong. I do this a lot. Another reason I don’t want to guess is because he said something in an email between me and a bunch of other people, that makes me think that what I have presumed from the beginning is wrong. It is like a war between him and his inner-self. I am hoping that he realizes that if his inner-most self, is not his outer-most self, then he is being very hypocritical of himself, and to everybody around him as well. Please, just let the beast free. You won’t regret it. I promise.

One more friend of mine has this boyfriend that she loves, and has for several years, even though they just recently started going out. He recently called her mean, and it seems like there has been a lot of turmoil between them and her boyfriend’s mom, who seems to be completely misunderstanding of everything, and has the brain of a 6 year old. This friend also has a family member that has cancer, which isn’t helping matters any. She also recently came out and told me something that I have known for quite some time now, sorry for not telling you sooner. But don’t worry, things between us won’t change a bit. I still think you should tell her, so that you don’t have this sitting on your chest.

I have another friend that won’t tell me what is wrong. I know that there is something wrong, but she won’t tell me. I don’t blame her, it’s not like I am her best friend or anything, but I have a feeling that it would be to her benefit to let someone else know what she is going through. It has always helped me in the past. Other people may be able to help you out more than you realize. Please, just remember, that if you need to talk, I am here.

Another friend of mine seems to be struggling. She is pissed with her sister for going back out with this sleaze ball that has already broken up with her sister twice, and she now suspects that they might be having sex. She doesn’t know for sure, but it definitely isn’t a good thing. She also has had a numerous amount of tests, especially in this past week. Math and all that jazz isn’t exactly her hot-spot, at least not right now. She also suspects that she is finally in love, but can’t help get pissed at that person so very often because of how stupid he is, and how much of a bumbling nincompoop he is. His being a dipshit doesn’t help matters much either. I promise that I will try to make things better, although I’m not sure how much I can, or how fast improvements are going to come.

This other friend, seems to be very touchy. He used to be best friends with this other friend of mine, but now hates him because of miscommunications that they always have. He doesn’t even like sitting next to him anymore, but they have to talk because they carpool together, which is where all of the miscommunications happen. At the beginning of the school year, school implemented this new rule saying that you can only have nine people to a table at lunch. I always had to move tables just for him, and go sit with him, and all of these social outcasts, and rejects, because he always bought lunch, and there wasn’t any room for him. For the last week or two, I have not sat with him because I went off on this other group of friends of mine because they never came and sat with us. Since I went off on them, they are almost forcing me to sit with them, and because of that, this friend thinks that I don’t want to sit with him anymore. Because of that, he is now ignoring me as much as possible, unless I get right up in his face and ask him what is wrong. I don’t get it, at first I was your only friend, and now because I sit with them, you disbanded me, and have gone to sit with them as well. I was the first and only one, and now, I just don’t exist because of you. Get over it and move on, and stop being such a hypocrite. You have excommunicated me for doing the right thing. I don’t think I can help you out here.

Another friend of mine, just hates that previous friend I just talked about because of those miscommunications that they always have. He has also been having numerous issues with his girlfriend lately because of her parents. They have even broken up once, and then gotten back together, even though they had planned to, which to me doesn’t even make sense as to why they broke up in the first place then. Another problem is that they never get to see one another, because when he is available she is not, and when she is, he is off with his friends playing video games. Taking her on a real date, and not just to the food court might help. Just take it into consideration.

This other friend that I have, well, let’s just say that, to him, I don’t exist anymore. He knows I am there, but he doesn’t care to acknowledge my existence much, even though I am there more often than he cares to realize. We used to be the best of friends and hang out every single day, and spent the night at each others’ houses so much, that we both practically belonged to our own, plus each others families. Once high school started though, at least throughout most of sophomore year, he had a problem with me. God only knows what it was, apparently I did something. But what else is new. This has happened a number of times, and after the third time, I just didn’t care anymore, especially if he was going to keep doing it. So here is again, trying to not acknowledge me, and here I am, as always, wondering what the hell I did wrong. But this time though, I don’t think there is any going back. God knows I can’t blame him though, because somehow it is always my fault. I don’t know what I did to piss you off again. If you would just say ‘hello’ back next time I pass you in the hallway, I promise it will be worth your while.

Those are all of your problems, plus one, that doesn’t have a dA, but his problem is still bugging me, just like everyone else’s. If you did not find yourself on that list, don’t be offended, it just means that as far as I can tell, you are not having any problems, and I hope your life is going as smoothly as is sounds. Now, if you care to find out what I have really been keeping from you all, you will find out why I did so, as well.

First off, because of cross country, one of my toenails is black, and about to fall off, another one already come off, and two more are going to do the same fairly shortly. So, that will leave me with only six toenails. Awesome, I know. At the beginning of the school year, I actually was doing very good, and I was doing all of my work at night, and being a good student, reading everything, and studying well. Now, as it seems I do every year, I have given up on that, and I have gone back to doing my homework during school, and getting homework from other classmates, and I have had to go into see my teachers more than I care to admit to get help, but obviously not enough for me to fully understand what the hell is going on. Since I have been able to drive, I have noticed a decreasing amount of time that I have to myself. I don’t want to complain about it, but a little alone time once in a while would be rather nice. Actually, right now it sounds like a slice of Heaven with chocolate, whip cream, and a cherry on top. I am taking time away from doing my homework to write this, proving my point. There are also friends that are just plain getting on my nerves, but I don’t feel like telling them, because I would rather put up with their stupidity then tell them to get the fuck away from me. Appeasing everybody has always been one of my biggest priorities, and that is why I don’t have any more free time, or me time, or personal time, or PT, or whatever the hell you feel like calling it. I also have a number of books that I want to read before I die, but right now, even that doesn’t seem plausible. Apparently, and surprisingly, I am liked by more than one person. Who knew, right? Hopefully, all of that will become known soon enough though. I feel like I have lost my mind, and have actually lost myself somewhere in the process. Hopefully, I can slowly regain consciousness and regain my own mind in the process. I had poison ivy, or poison oak or something on my face and on my hand. Although it may not be permanent, the scar it left behind seems to be, at least for the time being. Thank God the scar is only on my hand, and not my face. I wish that a certain somebody would realize that even though we go in circles, and it seems to be a never ending cycle, I don’t care about anything else, so long as I am with you.

That is my list of problems. As for the reason that I did not tell most of you any of these problems is because they are only temporary, hopefully like yours. I am glad that you told me your problems, and I hope that I can help you in one way or another. My problems, however, are mostly physical ailments that always seem to be affecting me, and are nothing new. I tend to over look them. There is nothing you can really do to help them move along any faster, so I wouldn’t worry about it much. Thanks for all of your concern, and I wish you luck with all of your problems. I promise that I will try to help as much as I can.